


Santa is a warmonger

by justanotherfellowsociopathicwriter



Series: things the avengers shouldn't be [2]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angel Steve Rogers, Demon Tony Stark, F/F, F/M, Fae Clint Barton, He's a shapeshifter, M/M, demon Pepper Potts, elf Bruce banner, elf Phil Coulson, thanos is also every villain ever, who is trying to take over the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-12 20:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18454421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherfellowsociopathicwriter/pseuds/justanotherfellowsociopathicwriter
Summary: The thing is there is supposed to be a group of extraordinary people protecting the supernatural realms, but there is also a prophecy to be fulfilled and a battle to be fought. Also Tony is enslaved by Obadiah to build weapons, the elves think they are making toys while they die in droves, and the avengers need to be found, like badly or the world is literally going to end





	1. I found a demon and my world turned upside down

There was once an elf named Bruce Banner, elves had once practiced magic of all kinds, but now they worked under Santa claus. At least, that was the name they got, building toys at fast rates, no one was to use magic, everyone obeyed Santa’s rules, those who didn’t simply disappeared. They built toys, built toys, and build toys, there were rumours of elves that still followed the old ways, and there was something about them that always called to bruce. Something other than systematic dancing in the square and working in the factory building toys, but at least it was toys right! Bruce sighed into a cup of tea, staring out the windows into the shabby rows of houses painted fever bright in the brilliant snow, slipping a biscuit into his pocket.

“Bruce, your shift is up!” another coworker called out, Bruce sighed, putting down his mug of tea. Heading towards the assembly line and hammering over and over on the same robotic chest plate. Circuits and wires already tucked neatly inside, the fever bright colors masking the danger of their workplace. When at last he finished, as he was walking home, he could have sworn he heard a voice coming from the walls to the time of a hammer “hark to the clinking of hammers, hark to the driving of nails, what fun to build the gallows, a cure to all that ails…” 

checking to see if he was alone, Bruce peered down into the vents to see a man surrounded by fire and darkness, hammering way with whatever came out of a chute, while he made quick work of it, it was clear that while every foreign job was done with expertise, it was just filled with unspoken malice. What truly was peculiar about this man however, was the fact that he had horns “A demon!” remembering what his mother had told him about demons ‘never give them an inch of power over you!’ and her lessons to always show kindness, the man appeared to be dangerously emaciated, with a gaping hole in his chest and scars decorating his body. Bruce crouched down next to the vent and slipped the pastry in between the bars, making a soft thud that should have been inaudible over the hammers and singing. The demon turned to see a pastry, and in a blink was there by the vent demolishing it with inhuman speed, turning up his head as he kneeled to see Bruce standing in front of him. Winking , he pulled out a twin pastry from behind his bare back and handed it to the kindred spirit, attached was a note, ‘what goes around comes around’ the demon flitted away as another tumble of objects came through the hatch, but not before sending a quicksilver grin toward Bruce.

Bruce was shocked, the elven society was one of constant vigilance, any hostility toward Santa was met with extreme force, and magic of any kind was strictly forbidden, but staring at the clearly fresh pastry held in his hand, what could that be other that magic? Elves lived so much longer when practicing magic, but keeping that kind of energy locked inside doomed them to a life of perhaps seventy years, with the grueling rules and factory label, perhaps forty. 

After that, he visited the vent everyday after his shift, always giving the demon some small gift, whether it be a toy or a morsel of food small enough to fit through the bars, and each time he would get something with just bit a greater value to call his own. The elf himself never spoke, and neither did the demon, whether by choice or by force, it was unknown. Bruce found himself sitting alone in his rickety hut wondering why there was a demon in the walls of the factory, Till one day, he finally worked up the courage to speak to the horned man illuminated by fire and coal. 

“Do you talk” Bruce stuttered, once again peering around before lowering himself down to the vent. “What is exchanged-” Tony was caught off, looking annoyed, then thoughtful “so, you need to be given something in order to return it? A deal, trade, bargain, for everything! That’s insane!” bruce reasoned “demons dish out instant karma, the man who holds my heart holds the power needed for me to do anything.” Tony said, looking rather frustrated, “so, whoever has what made the hole in your chest ‘your heart’ controls you, and without your heart you have to follow the bargaining rule to the point where you can only speak with the same amount of words you were spoken to with! - Who imprisoned you here, how! Aren’t demons supposed to be powerfully magical!”

Bruce looked stricken at the thought, as an elf he didn’t really have much freedom either, but this was something different altogether. “The man you now call ‘santa’ once went by the name of Stane, I saw him as a father, and told him my demonic name, names hold power for the demonic folk, and he used mine to hold me still while he ripped out my heart and stole me away to build weapons to sell.” Tony said, looking at the ground, his ragged goatee seemed to droop as he recounted the tale. “That’s completely messed up! But what do you mean by selling weapons, we only build toys here at the factory!” Bruce said in disbelief, 

Tony sent him a much darker grin. “That’s hilarious, ‘santa’ holds the heart and name of a demon, you think he can’t keep up a happy ruse?” pulling out the model robot that Bruce spent most of the day slaving over, and somehow inverting it to create what seemed to be a ring of knives, which promptly started floating before embedding itself into the metal wall behind him. “So what do we do?” bruce asked the demon, “well, what do you mean?” Tony questioned, “are you insane, we can’t let this continue! This occupation has been going on for...centuries” 

“Exactly you elf, I’ve been locked in these walls even longer, what importance does life have?” Tony cried out. “There has to be a way, is there any way for us to escape, any at all?” Bruce looked at Tony desperately, and then something seemed to wash over Tony’s face “If I were to give you my name, that would give you just enough power to summon my heart, and we could escape! But a name must be traded for another, do you dare give me yours?”

bruce nodded “I am bruce banner,” a strange trance seemed to wash over him as he continued to speak “intended initiator of the prophecy to end the reign of the stealer of names and monikers, enslaver and torturer of individuals and races. the incredible hulk” Tony stared in awe rejoicing silently before he spoke “the prophecy is coming to a beginning! Bruce, this is no longer a simple escape, this is a revolution! “I am Anthony Edward Stark, I relinquish my secret name, aireagán paradacsa.” Bruce quietly viewed at the glowing blue organ that had appeared in his hand, the demon’s heart, a voice in his head told his to keep it, but looking into Tony’s eyes as the demon stared at the chance of free will in his hands, handing it over almost immediately after. A brief moment was shared before Tony took it, holding his heart in his hands before tucking it into his chest before he began to scream, when at last the shrieking stopped, his heart was once again held by veins and tendons that, simply by being there, seemed to fill the demon with a certain power that had long since been held out of reach. Darting between the bars and tackling bruce to the ground, the duo disappearing in a wave of flame as an alarm began to sound throughout the factory


	2. Welcome to hell’s Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Bruce and Tony escape to hell, a battle awaits, but the two need to go over a few things and compile information, as well as pull hijinks and teach Bruce to control his suppressed abilities

The duo reappeared in what seemed to be desolate, snowy mountain top, despite the snow and the cold, there were glowing veins of lava as well as a city far in the distance. “Welcome to hell, and hell’s urban kitchen, c’mon Bruce!” Tony took off toward the city, his steps leaving steaming patterns in the snow as he whooped with glee. Bruce followed, but as he began to lose Tony in the snow, he saw Tony running back, “you’re an elf, whats taking so long?” Tony asked, genuine bewilderment decorating his face “you know, I get it, it’s underground and harder to work YOUR magic but come on, supernatural speed is something elves PRIDE themselves on!” 

 

Bruce looked down at the snow covered ground, “elves from my generation never learned to do magic…” Tony rolled his eyes, giving an airy smile, “just run, become wind like demons do with fire!” and bruce did, his feet nearly seemed to have a mind of their own as TOny grabbed his hand and began running at a speed at which he should not have been running alongside, but rather been dragged on and given wicked floor burn. When they reached the city gates, they saw a group of returning soldiers, bruce could have sworn he heard them talking ‘colonel, apologies for questioning your orders, but why so many patrols around the city limits’ one of the armored voices asked another who held what appeared to be a glowing battle axe. ‘Private, with him taking over elf country as well as gaining an asgardian prince and having hells main expert on tech and weapons, we don’t have much a choice, demons living in the city need protection, and those guarding the towers as well as soldiers like us patrolling the gate…” 

 

Tony stood by the main gate, holding bruce’s hand all the while, “wait, expert on tech and weapons? Captured, are they talking about you?” “yep, I got out, but if they have an asgardian prince, that is quite bad, quite bad indeed…” Tony said, beginning to fiddle with a mechanical spider before sending it toward the group of demonic soldiers.

 

“Now watch” 

 

the brass arachnid proceeded to crawl up the leg of the colonel, going unnoticed until it silently spun a web around the group with nearly invisible metallic thread as they sat and ate their provisions, but when the private that had previously spoken stood up, and a seamless attack took place. The private, touching a thread of silken brass, made a move to break it, only to be firmly tangled at the wrist. From there it only continued, until the group of soldiers was completely and near silently was tangled up in brass coils. The spider began to crawl up the colonels axe as the man continued to eat his sandwich without looking up, picking it up and pressing a button. 

 

Once it was pressed, the luminescent message display itself in front of the colonel from his axe, provoking him to look up and see his task force firmly tied up to the ground and each other with neat metallic thread before the poor colonel could read the message, Tony called out “hey platypus, I escaped the big bad thingamabobber! And I brought an elf!” the colonel just sighed, looking exasperated before perking up in shock “Tony you little shit!” the demon reached for his axe only for Tony to tap him on the shoulder, axe in hand and the brass restraints neatly cut and looped on the ground. 

 

The taller man wrapped Tony in a hug, with Tony looking nearly dumbfounded, pausing with his arms spread outward before slowly returning it. The colonel stood and shook Tony by the shoulders “where have you been!” Tony gave a sardonic smile “I got captured Rhodey, I gave my name away, and guess why Obie isn’t with me…” The colonel now known to be ‘Rhodey’ now looked to be increasingly infuriated “that shapeshifter! Where have you been?” Tony looked up, now solemn, “elven country, building hundreds upon hundreds of weapons, and getting tortured, I’m sorry Rhodes, I shouldn’t have trusted him…But now, the prophecy has begun!” Tony pulled Bruce up to the group, 

 

“This elf is the incredible hulk, he possessed the willpower to do good with the name and heart of a demon and returned my free will, then we escaped! The reign of one of many faces is finally coming to an end!” Bruce was only becoming more befuddled as the conversation went on, the demon troops were rejoicing as Tony announced the prophecy with glorific showmanship, as they reached the city gates the soldiers marched off to their personal lives while Rhodey pulled the duo into a bar, Bruce stared out the window, looking out at the city immersed in shadows with shining lanterns and windows lit the way through the tumbling dark palette of the buildings.

 

“I can’t believe it tones! The prophecy, you may be a genius, but THE prophecy, are you sure!” Rhodey exclaimed, Tony nodded vigorously while Bruce stared methodically out the window before turning around and shouting “What do you mean, I understand the fact that santa was evil, I get escaping, but who is the one of many faces, what the HELL is going on” Bruce was so distraught that he failed to notice the green runes that spun around his fists, he punched a wall only for it to crack and collapse, the angry barman through them out after Tony arranged to pay for damages, and they were in the street once again, 

 

watching vendors fry things with their breath, performers dancing on pillars of flame, billboards glowing and warm to the touch, it was dark, and large, but nothing was covered up in fluorescent paint while people starved and died in the street. 

 

Bruce sank to his knees, the glowing green runes surrounding him pushing him to feel even more conflicted before Tony grasped his hand and pulled him off the ground, Rhodey having left soon after, Tony asking him to allow them some alone time. In silence, they walked back to a tower, and took and elevator deeper into the ground, where, despite the dust, inventions and trinkets of all kinds lied in wait. Bruce looked up, stunned to see all of the technology surrounding him, Tony smiled, “took you for a sciencey guy! Anyway, exposition and shit, the man you call santa enslaved the elven race about five hundred years ago, and with the magic of the woods being suppressed, the elves died in droves, I was tricked by a man I knew as Obie into giving away my secret name, and was doomed to a life of torture and forced creation till YOU came along, and freed me, but then you turned out to be the incredible hulk, and so now we have to find members of a team of heroes in order to kill the big baddie and save everyone, blueberry? But in the meantime, we need to teach you how to elf as well as build shit till we set off tomorrow!” Bruce looked on sadly “I was always a builder, I fixed everything in the house as a kid, and always loved to use magic, but under the regime, my father reported me, and my mother took the blame. She was sent to a work camp, and I never saw her again.” 

 

Tony patted him on the back “I know that I haven’t done a lot for you, and haven’t known you for a very long time, but you have done so much for me Bruce! You got me out, what I build was always meant to be used for good, my weapons meant to be in the hands of trustworthy people, but I fucked that up and you saved me anyway...Don’t beat yourself up about what happened in the past, people call me a futurist, but all you really NEED to do is look forward.” Bruce nodded, tears forming in his eyes as he stood and, side by side, they worked throughout the night on projects that had been put away for far too long, testing out Bruce's abilities where he could finally learn to do so, and Tony redying his robots, weapons and armor the the battle that lay over the horizon, watching bruce learn the limits of his shining green magic as he made preparations for the journey ahead.

 

Soon they would embark to find the other avengers, but for now they simply worked away, for Tony, this meant centuries of imprisonment, and for Bruce, the enslavement of him and his people.


End file.
